


Blue Neighbourhood

by lovelyairi



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, questioning of religion and life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 02:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyairi/pseuds/lovelyairi
Summary: Yongguk wasn't sure what he was expecting to find that summerBut it definitely wasn't what he found





	1. Wild [Prologue]

Yongguk froze as he watched the beautiful boy swimming in the ocean, he was stood there as well, cold waves hitting against his body. But under the warmth of the setting sun he was stunned.

Daehyun emerged from underneath the water and he ran his fingers through his hair, moving the wet locks away from his face. He turned and grinned at Yongguk, the sight causing the man to stop breathing.

His golden skin was shining and the water illuminated his features even more so, from his mischievous eyes to his plump lips. A grin broke onto his face and water droplets were caught in his whisker dimples.

"Come here hyung." Daehyun's voice was melodic as he called out to him, within the sounds of the ocean and the rustling of the trees Yongguk heard him clearly. And he slowly approached, water rising as he walked deeper into the ocean.

Daehyun held his arms open for the man, his smile never wavering as his eyes remained on Yongguk's hesitant actions. The two finally met and Daehyun pulled the elder closer to him.

"Don't worry, I won't let you go." Daehyun said in a reassuring tone, their naked bodies pressed together and the heat coming from the golden boy could be felt even with the cold ocean water surrounding them.

"And I won't let you go."

 

Wild - Troye Sivan

 


	2. Bite

Yongguk sat on a boat with buds in his ears and his arms secured around his backpack.His legs keeping his luggage from toppling over while the Captain sputtered nonsense through the speakers.

He was in a foul mood that was to say the least. His parents had decided it'd be good for him to get out of the house for the summer, hence why he was now on his way to his aunt's house. 

She lived on an island. 

The dingy boat filled with too many people rocked from side to side and Yongguk thanked his parents for granting him with no motion sickness. They arrived at the small dock after half an hour on the ocean and Yongguk quickly got off.

He put on his bag and pulled his luggage with his left hand whilst his right toyed with his phone. His cousin Youngjae sent him the address along with helpful photos to guide him along the way.

Yongguk didn't mind not being picked up from the dock, from what he remembered the house wasn't too far from it. And so, with his mind trying to be as positive as possible Yongguk began walking.

It was a quite a wide road, one side lined with trees while the other was lined with the shore. A few cars passed by him but other than that, he was practically alone. 

It was sunny but there was a gentle breeze in the air, Yongguk smiled to himself as he changed the track to something more soft and light hearted to boost up his mood. He loved how music could do that.

He walked with slow footsteps as he breathed in the island scents occasionally glancing at the photos on his phone to make sure he was going in the right direction. 

As Yongguk got closer and closer to the little town he noticed a small settlement on the beach. Intrigued, he stopped to look. From what he could see there was no one in sight.

But he could swear that there was a pile of clothing on a towel, lying in the sun on the sand. For a moment he felt afraid, what if someone had drowned? Or was kidnapped? His thoughts were cut off when a person appeared from the water.

From afar Yongguk couldn't exactly see this person's features but no doubt he was gorgeous. His skin was tanned in comparison to the white sand and the light blue water complimented his tone.

The person walked towards the beach and Yongguk's heart stopped beating when he noticed this person was completely naked. Yongguk wanted to look away and continue on but he was completely drawn to this stranger.

The sand stuck to his feet as he approached his things and Yongguk could see dark eyes and plump lips. Black hair stuck to his forehead, the stranger ran his fingers through the wet locks slicking them back.

He lips were parted and he seemed to be breathing heavily, the man looked up and met eyes with Yongguk who had been blantantly staring at this point. He sputtered on his saliva and quickly turned his head, rushing towards his destination.

And in the midst of his embarrassment Yongguk hadn't seen the smirk on the beautiful stranger's lips.

 

"Yongguk hyung! I was beginning to think you got lost." Youngjae said as soon as he opened the door. Yongguk greeted his cousin with a hug and he entered the home, which was very tropical and comfortable he noted.

"You can settle down your things in the room to the left, it's our guest room. My room is across from yours and my parents' room is upstairs." Youngjae explained and Yongguk nodded, heading to what was now his room to drop off his bag and luggage.

"It's so nice to have you here hyung, there's a lot to do on the island during summer." he smiled to himself, Youngjae had been talkative as a child and he hadn't changed.

"There's a lot of festivals and parties, it'll be fun. How's Yongnam hyung doing?" Youngjae asked and Yongguk clenched his fists tight upon hearing his twins' name. He forced a smile and looked at the younger,

"He's been doing well. Quite busy with his work." he answered simply and Youngjae pressed nothing more on the matter. Knocking at the door caught their attention and Youngjae grinned.

Yongguk sat on the couch while Youngjae went to go open the door, he glanced around the room and his heart felt warm when he saw all the family photos. Also it seemed Youngjae had developed a passion for photography cause there were loads of photos scattered around. 

Yongguk lifted his head when Youngjae and another person came back into the living room and he froze. His eyes widened as he looked at the same face he'd been staring at not too long ago. His lips revealing straight white teeth as he looked right at Yongguk.

"Let me introduce a good friend of mine. This is my cousin Yongguk I've told you about, he'll be spending the summer with us." Youngjae smiled in an oblivious manner as he looked at the two. The stranger shook his wet hair out of his face before speaking.

"Hello, I'm Daehyun."

 

Bite - Troye Sivan

 


	3. Fools

After the initial introductions Daehyun was now sitting at the dining table gracing himself with Youngjae's home cooking while Yongguk is forced to sit across him and eat as well.

However, he finds it extremely hard to focus on eating the mouth watering japchae in front of him. Not when Daehyun is slurping and smacking his lips together like that.

Daehyun's lips are extra plump and slightly reddened from the hot peppers Youngjae threw into the dish. His lips gleam with sesame oil and he licks them before inhaling more noodles.

Yongguk couldn't help but think Daehyun was taunting him. No doubt he knew how luscious his lips were, and he seemed to hold no complex to them. He was confident in his looks.

"Hyung you should probably eat before it gets cold." Youngjae's voice was sharp and disappointed, probably because Yongguk wasn't eating his food. It was like that when they were kids too. Youngjae loved cooking.

"Daehyun stop being so messy. God you're such a kid." Youngjae scolded before tossing a paper napkin to the other. Daehyun laughed and wiped his mouth, thanking Youngjae with a nod.

"I'm just really hungry. And my japchae is never as good as yours." Daehyun said before he dove into the bowl once more. Youngjae ran his fingers through Daehyun's hair and hummed,

"Were you out swimming again?" he asked nonchanlantly. Youngjae didn't see the way Yongguk froze, or the smirk that appeared on Daehyun's lips as he glanced at the eldest.

"Ahh, this is why you're so tanned. You're always outside." Youngjae chuckled when Daehyun nodded. The two began to bicker about how Youngjae was a hermit and that was why he was so pale and Yongguk got lost in the conversation.

He wondered if Daehyun swam naked every day. That would explain his even tan throughout his body, but it seemed quite risky. Unless Daehyun was the type that had no shame.

It wasn't like his body was one to be ashamed of anyway.

"Earth to Yongguk hyung~" Daehyun and Youngjae harmonization made him blink and he was in awe for a few seconds. Then he realized Youngjae was giving him that expectant look,

"What." he answered flatly. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't paying attention and only now did he notice his plate of japchae in front of Youngjae. He frowned a little and Youngjae laughed,

"You weren't eating it so I helped myself. Anyway, hyung I won't be able to show you around tomorrow." Youngjae said in a regretful tone, however it wasn't as genuine as it probably was the first time it was said.

"Why?" he asked. Let's be honest, he wasn't very invested in this conversation. His mind was elsewhere and the way Daehyun was gazing at him didn't help either.

"We're holding a welcome party for you tomorrow and I'll be spending the whole day cooking for it. I don't want you to help me with it, since it's your party but yeah, I'll be busy. I'll show you around soon though!" Youngjae clasped his hands together in an apologetic manner.

"It's fine Youngjae, I really don't need a welcome party though." Yongguk said, he wasn't too keen on parties. He liked to keep to himself, but it was a small island so it wasn't like there'd be a ton of people anyway right?

"Nonsense hyung, it's tradition." Youngjae was about to continue speaking but then Daehyun stopped him. The cousins looked at the male curiously, Yongguk's heart jumped.

"I can show you around hyung. I know this island as much as Youngjae does, if not, better than he does." Daehyun has his infamous smirk on his face again and Youngjae rolls his eyes.

"I would argue with him but it's true. Daehyun knows the island best. Would you be alright with him showing you around hyung?" Youngjae looked back to Yongguk who was focused on the pink lips pulling back to show white teeth.

"Y-yeah, thanks Daehyun."

 

"Lucky for you hyung I'm a late sleeper too." Daehyun says as he walks over to Yongguk who is slowly getting dressed. It was about 2 in the afternoon and although Yongguk was expecting Daehyun to walk into his room early in the morning to pester him, he didn't.

"Hey Daehyun." Yongguk tries not to act phased as he pulls on his sweats but the way Daehyun is looking at him makes his blood rush. Daehyun grins and waves,

"Hello hyung. Ready to go? There isn't much to see, but it's best to get back before your party starts." Daehyun says in a chipper tone. Yongguk nods and slips his phone into his pocket before following.

"Have fun, Daehyun make sure you don't get carried away in the forest or caves okay?" Youngjae warns his friend without looking at him. He currently has his eyes narrowed as he prepares a tray of fruits.

"I got it Jae, make some yummy food okay?" Daehyun replies and Youngjae mutters about his friend being a glutton as Daehyun laughs. Yongguk smiles at their friendship and follows Daehyun down the road.

"Everyone else lives remotely close. It's only Youngjae who's so close to the pier, his parents work in the city so they decided to build their home close." Daehyun explained as they stayed to the far right of the street.

"Is that why I haven't seen aunty or uncle?" Yongguk asked, he wasn't really expecting an answer from Daehyun. Why would the younger care about that? Unless he and Youngjae were closer than he thought.

"They leave Youngjae alone a lot. Their main residence is in Seoul, Youngjae is weak I'm sure you remember. So he stays on the island where the air is fresh." Daehyun explained.

Yongguk could vaguely remember how hard it was to play with Youngjae as a child, he often got tired too quickly or ended up having coughing fits. He also fainted often and scared the other kids.

"Okay now that we've reached civilization I'll show you around." Yongguk couldn't hold in his laughter at the younger's remark but he soon noticed only he found it funny so he stopped.

"That's the General store, you can find almost anything there. Including food and clothes." Daehyun said he pointed to a sturdy looking building. They continued walking till they reached a large open circle of concrete.

The road continued in a circle before connecting back the way they came, and a large fountain was situated in the middle. The centre piece was a mermaid holding a vase in which the water poured from.

"There's Junhong's house, we usually call him Zelo. His parents own the General store." Daehyun gestured to a small cozy home, identical to Youngjae's and Yongguk nodded.

"Next to his house is Jongup's house. He's barely there though, he's usually staying with Himchan hyung." Yongguk took note of the names which sounded so foreign to him.

"Himchan hyung lives in the corner there by the large hill. Down that hill you'll find my house. I live right by the edge of the forest." Daehyun was explaining something he couldn't see so he could only imagine it.

"That there is a small fort we built as kids. No one uses it anymore since we've all grown but it holds memories. Zelo is the youngest on the island, he's 17." Daehyun stretched as he looked at Yongguk.

"Some of us have parents some of us don't. Majority of our parents are in the city, and we all work from home. In one form or another. That's about it. You know where the pier is and Youngjae's house is right by the beach. The forest takes up a lot of the island." Daehyun concludes and Yongguk nods.

However his nods fall short when he notices Daehyun's outstretched arms. Or more so the discoloured skin on his forearms, consecutive lines that seemed too calculated to be mere accidents.

Daehyun caught his gaze and Yongguk looked away naturally. He knew better than to stare, and he scolded himself mentally for being so thoughtless. Even though he was curious he wasn't going to ask, it was rude.

"Hyung, I have nothing to hide. Are you curious?" Daehyun's voice was gentle but quite lonely. Or maybe it was just the island wind that made Yongguk think so, he looked into his eyes and nodded.

"Don't be ashamed. It's human nature to be curious." Daehyun smiled and Yongguk had so many thoughts running in and out of his mind he wasn't even thinking. 

"There were times I drifted so far, I had to bring myself back. And when I returned from that far away place, I gained scars of what I experienced there. Every one means something different. But they all mean something. Something you'll never understand." Yongguk shivered.

"Come hyung, your party will begin soon."

 

Fools - Troye Sivan


	4. Ease

The party was quite a small one, not that Yongguk was expecting much after hearing how little people actually inhabited the godforsaken island. There were only a handful of people there.

"Welcome to the island." a man walked up to Yongguk whom was sipping idly on sparkling juice. He nodded in response and he could see another person with him, as if on cue others swarmed to him including Youngjae.

"This is Himchan hyung, Jongup is there. Junhong or Zelo is stood with his parents Jongsuk and Younha, his brother Junseo is visiting for the summer too. And Himchan's sister is here, her name is Iseul noona." Youngjae introduced.

Yongguk smiled in response, only Himchan, Jongup and Daehyun were around him at the moment. Zelo skipped over after finally leaving his parents who were calling Youngjae over to compliment his dishes.

"Yongguk hyung right? How long will you be staying?" Zelo said as soon as he entered the circle. Yongguk instantly noted how tall the teen was, and how cute he was. He was like the little brother Yongguk never had.

"I'm staying till the end of summer at most." Yongguk replied unaware of the way Daehyun looked away. Youngjae returned to the group and he gently nudged his friends shoulder.

"Yongguk hyung is a producer you see. He's busy composing for a new groups' debut album." Youngjae said happily and the other guys nodded in awe. Daehyun tried to step away from the group but Youngjae held his wrist.

"You know hyung, this is the friendly get together. The actually party begins later tonight." Youngjae grinned and Yongguk tilted his head in confusion, Himchan and Jongup were wearing the same grin and Zelo was smirking.

 

And so Yongguk found himself sitting on a towel around a bon fire while Himchan and Youngjae screamed and spun around with their beer bottles up high. Loud music was blaring from the wireless speakers that were connected to Himchan's and Youngjae's phones.

They had tried playing the same songs at the same time to get some kind of extra loudness but because they were too tipsy Youngjae's phone lagged behind resulting in an unnattractive lag in the audio.

Jongup and Zelo were having some kind of dance battle on the side since they were too young to drink even though no one would care if they did. Daehyun on the other hand was simply curled up against Yongguk's side.

He wondered how the younger easily knocked out when his friends were being complete maniacs but he liked the closeness. Daehyun's hair was soft against his cheek and he enjoyed feeling the gentle breath tickling his arm.

Suddenly warm fingers intertwined with his own and he looked at Daehyun only to see a mischievous smirk gracing those plump lips. Daehyun stood up and pulled Yongguk with him. 

The two stumbled away from the small group with numb legs and excited hearts. Daehyun seemed to be leading him somewhere because he knew exactly where he was going.

Not a moment's hesitation in his motions, he looked straight ahead and kept running. Yongguk's breath was taken away by the male in front of him and they slowed down, in front of a strange boulder in the sand.

Daehyun didn't say a word and he didn't look at Yongguk, he simply began removing his clothing. He gave Yongguk one look and he unconsciously removed his clothing as well, leaving them both naked.

Yongguk watched as the younger stepped into the water fearlessly, as though his body had already become accustomed to the designs of the ocean floor beneath his bare feet.

He stepped forward once Daehyun disappeared into the water, unlike the bold younger he hesitated once he felt the cold water embracing his toes.

Yongguk froze as he watched the beautiful boy swimming in the ocean, he was stood there as well, cold waves hitting against his body. The sound of music in the distance.

Daehyun emerged from underneath the water and he ran his fingers through his hair, eyes closed as he breathed deeply. He turned and smiled at Yongguk with those dark eyes.

His sun kissed skin seemed to glow beneath the moonlight and in that moment Yongguk felt like both the sun and moon worshiped this man's beauty. Yongguk couldn't understand how someone could intrigue him so.

"Come here hyung." it had been the first time Yongguk heard Daehyun's voice since their conversation before the party. It scared him how much his body reacted to the sound. Like a spell, Yongguk stepped forward.

He didn't flinch as the element enveloped his body, instead, his eyes never left Daehyun's, the younger ensuring that he would hold him tight if he drifted away.

Daehyun held his arms open for Yongguk, his smile never wavering as he watched the elder's every action. When the two finally met Daehyun pulled him close.

"Don't worry, I won't let you go." Daehyun said softly, pressing their naked bodies together to share warmth. Yongguk unconsciously glanced at the scars on Daehyun's body and he hugged him close.

"And I won't let you go." 

 

Ease - Troye Sivan

 


	5. The Quiet

Yongguk hadn't seen Daehyun for the past week and a half. It was as though the younger had completely disappeared and the thought of scared him so so much. Daehyun was simply too mysterious and Yongguk was beginning to think he wasn't real.

Daehyun was the only thing on his mind as of late and he was proving to be very distracted by the attractive male. He had so many questions on his mind about the mysterious younger.

Yongguk was currently sitting in the living room, listening to some music he had found within Youngjae's home while the younger was baking something fruity. Since Youngjae was weak he often stayed inside and he had picked up the hobby of cooking and baking in his free time.

Which was fine, as long as he was happy Yongguk thought.

"Hey Youngjae?" he called out from his spot on the floor. He was quite liking the fluffy mat on the floor as supposed to the sofa, Youngjae hummed and glanced over scrunching his nose until he finally spotted the elder.

"What is it hyung?" Youngjae asked as he piped some decorative swirls on the cookies he was making. Yongguk sat up and ruffled his hair messily, stretching out his neck before he spoke.

"Where's Daehyun?" Yongguk asked and Youngjae didn't even flinch, he simply continued doing what he was doing and he didn't bother looking over to those curious eyes.

"Daehyun has a habit of disappearing for a while. Sometimes he's gone for days, weeks or even months. Don't worry about it too much he always comes back. He's probably in the forest or in the city, no one really knows where he goes." Youngjae explained.

Yongguk raised his brows and he stared at the floor. It was normal for him to disappear like this, yet no one decided it was something to worry about? He sighed and stood up.

"Where are you going hyung?" Youngjae asked nonchalantly as he finished turning a cookie into a masterpiece. Yongguk walked over to the doorway and glanced out the glass panel.

"I'm going to walk around for a bit until the sun sets. I'll be back soon, save me some cookies." Yongguk said with a smile and Youngjae grinned, waving a goodbye as the door closed.

 

Yongguk kicked at the rocks on the ground and shoved his hands into his pockets. There really wasn't much to do at home and there wasn't much on the island but he could spend hours in the nature.

It was so relaxing and comforting, he loved it. He'd have to visit more often when being in the city was too tough. Yongguk tripped over his own feet and caught himself before he fell.

When he looked up he was met with Daehyun. The younger didn't acknowlegde him and simply kept walking, absorbed in whatever he was doing but Yongguk followed him. He couldn't hide the uneasy feeling in his heart when it came to Daehyun.

"Who are you?" he asked in a breathless voice. If he spoke any louder he was afraid this boy would fade. He was like dust, and he could only be seen beneath the sunlight.

Yongguk didn't fully understand his question but he could only wonder who Daehyun was. Why did he affect him so much? And who was he... what made him happy, sad, lonely... he wanted to know everything.

"You seem to be searching for something. A place to call home perhaps?" a mischievous smile spread onto Daehyun's lips and his eyes shone with something that couldn't be understood with words alone.

"Where cold memories are left behind." he widened his arms as he balanced on the curb as he walked ahead. Yongguk stumbled after him,

"And warmth is but an arm's reach." a gust of wind caught him off guard and when he opened his eyes the beauty was stood in front of him, a cheshire grin on his plump lips.

"Come away with me." he whispered, and the sound travelled up Yongguk's spine. It felt comfortable and it felt right, but he felt so terrified. He shivered and stepped away on impulse, causing Daehyun's smile to widen.

"Welcome to the Blue Neighbourhood." 

Yongguk remained completely silent and so did Daehyun. But the silence was not uncomfortable, it was simply empty. He bit his lip and grasped Daehyun's wrist, pulling him in close.

Yongguk brought their lips together in a desperate kiss and he wrapped his arms around Daehyun's waist bringing his warmth unbelievably close. Daehyun wasted no time and returned the kiss.

It was a mesh of lips and tongue but it was everything they had ever imagined. Daehyun's body fit so nicely against his own and he didn't want to let go.

Those plump lips were an addiction and Yongguk wanted so much more than what the boy was giving him. Daehyun moaned into the kiss and the sound was music to his ears.

After some time they pulled away to catch their breath, Yongguk looked deep into Daehyun's eyes and he couldn't understand a single thing. Daehyun placed his hands on Yongguk's face,

And he smiled like an angel.

 

The Quiet - Troye Sivan

 


	6. DKLA

"Yongguk hyung, do you like Daehyun?" the question was so unexpected that Yongguk sputtered the iced tea he was drinking, Youngjae had already covered himself with a paper towel as though he knew that'd be the reaction.

"I don't... I'm not... umm." Yongguk said pathetically, Youngjae's eyes were serious and he hadn't seen the younger like that since he started living here. It worried him. Youngjae sighed,

"I want you to know what you're getting into hyung." his voice was quiet, his eyes downcast as he avoided the look of confusion in the elder's eyes, those eyes that were so desperately asking for an answer.

"Daehyun... he's... alluring." Youngjae said as he looked over to the photos on the shelf. That was the definition of Jung Daehyun in Youngjae's eyes, the other was absolutely alluring.

"He's beautiful, and he draws you in unknowingly with his words and the way he looks at the world. But Daehyun doesn't love." Yongguk couldn't help but feel that Youngjae had some kind of experience with this, or maybe that was just who Daehyun was?

Yongguk didn't know what he was expecting but at the same time he could completely understand why Daehyun was perceived like so. He was so mysterious and he was breath taking.

"Youngjae, can you tell me more about Daehyun's past?" he asked quietly. If there was anything that would tell him more about the younger he'd take it. Those scars on the beauty's body was nagging his mind to the point it ached.

"It's something I'm not meant to say. He hadn't told me every thing but hyung... it's dark."

 

DKLA - Troye Sivan Ft. Tkay Maidza

 

 


	7. Talk Me Down

Yongguk lay awake at night with only Daehyun on his mind. Youngjae's words were keeping him awake and he couldn't help but feel like this was his chance to either forget about Daehyun or be even more drawn to the mystery.

It was currently 3am according to his phone and he sighed audibly loud. Without thinking twice Yongguk got out of bed and didn't bother getting dressed into proper clothing. He was in a wifebeater and shorts, he'd be fine.

He gently opened the door and he could hear a soft tune playing from within Youngjae's room, during his first days here he had been told that Youngjae couldn't sleep without music playing. 

Yongguk walked through the house as quietly as he could, he took Youngjae's keys from the kitchen table and he walked towards the door slipping on his shoes before he left the house.

The island was unbelievably soothing at this hour Yongguk noted. It seemed like he were completely severed from the world, and the island was the only thing that existed. It was surreal.

The ocean played the sweetest music he'd ever heard and the sound of crickets in the forest complimented the sound, Yongguk absolutely loved it. He walked along the road freely not fearing the chance of being run over.

There was nothing he wanted more right now then to hug Daehyun closely, he wanted to sleep next to him and he wanted to wake up with him. He wanted Daehyun to be the last thing and first thing he saw every day.

He reached the "main" part of the what Yongguk would call a town and he recalled Daehyun's words from weeks before. Daehyun lived somewhere down the hill near the forest. 

Yongguk went past the fountain and peered into the inky blackness that was down the hill. Within the dark he could see a stream of lights and he wondered if there were fireflies out.

He walked towards what he hoped was Daehyun's house and he saw numerous lighted lanterns outside, gently swaying in the summer breeze. Yongguk approached the door and knocked a few times.

The door opened within a few seconds and Daehyun looked at him with teary eyes, for some reason it looked like he was expecting him but at the same time he looked completely taken aback.

He was expressionless.

Yongguk was quickly pulled into the home and the door was shut behind them, before he could say anything Daehyun was hugging him. His body seemed to be shaking and he was letting out shaky breaths.

"Hey... Daehyun-ah are you okay?" Yongguk asked softly, he didn't want to alarm the younger in any way. Daehyun didn't answer but he held onto Yongguk's wrist before he lead him into the house.

It was a complete replica of Youngjae's, although it was definitely messier and more lived in. There were papers scattered all over the place along with notebooks. But he couldn't look any longer because Daehyun was pulling him up the stairs.

They arrived at what Yongguk could only guess was Daehyun's bedroom and his eyes widened when he saw blue fairy lights strewn across the walls, he noticed lots of posters and shelves upon shelves of music and books.

Daehyun turned around and he looked deep into Yongguk's eyes. He stayed completely still as he slowly let his hands trail up Yongguk's toned arms towards his cheeks, he took a deep breath and he smiled.

This smile however was no angelic or nearly as beautiful as the previous smiles he had shared before. This one was sad. It bore a hole through Yongguk's heart and made his breath hitch, Daehyun looked as though he was asking to be saved.

But from what exactly?

"Embrace me." Daehyun whispered. Yongguk watched as Daehyun walked backwards letting the elder follow him before he fluttered down onto the bed, a smile on his lips as he let Yongguk take his place above him.

Yongguk leaned down and pressed his lips against Daehyun's, they kissed slowly and Daehyun's shaking hands holding him close scared him. It was as though the younger was afraid of being left alone, even though Yongguk was the one fearing the younger's disappearance.

"I'm here." Yongguk said quietly, it seemed to trigger something because soon Daehyun was laughing lightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hugged Yongguk close and kissed his neck.

 

Yongguk took his time as he removed Daehyun's clothing. They both glowed in the blue lighting and Yongguk's heart clenched when he saw numerous scars on Daehyun's thighs on stomach.

Daehyun seemed to flinch under Yongguk's stare and he closed his eyes, hands touching Daehyun lightly as he took his time pressing soft kisses upon the marred patches of skin.

Even when they became one, Yongguk had trouble believing that indeed Daehyun was there with him. He was in his arms and their warmth was melting together, but why was he so afraid?

 

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan 


	8. Cool

Yongguk woke up with Daehyun in his arms the next morning, and he wanted nothing more for the rest of his life. Soft breath tickled his chest as the younger snoozed soundly. 

He placed a kiss on Daehyun's head and hugged his close. Such a beautiful boy shouldn't feel so down. No one should feel the way Daehyun does. Yongguk only wish he knew exactly what was on Daehyun's mind.

The sound of vibrating caught his attention and he reached over to the bedside table, picking up Daehyun's phone whilst trying not to disturb the sleeping boy in any way. Yongguk squinted at the bright screen.

" _Hey Yongguk hyung, I'm assuming you're with Daehyun and no doubt the lazy ass is still sleeping. Spend the day with him, he's been a little down lately._ " Yongguk smiled at the message from Youngjae.

"Hyung?" Daehyun yawned as he wiped his eyes. Yongguk placed down the phone after deleting the text and he froze when Daehyun pressed a lazy kiss onto his lips. Smirking as he sat up.

"Good morning to you too." Yongguk laughed and Daehyun rolled his eyes playfully before standing up, as usual he was completely shamless when it came to his body and only now did Yongguk notice the toned muscles all over.

He tried not to let his gaze linger on the scars.

"Let's go swimming hyung."

 

Yongguk wasn't feeling the mood for a swim so he simply sat on the hot sand as the younger moved like a mermaid within the waters. He wiggled his toes in the sand loving the warmth spreading throughout.

"Do you know why I like swimming so much hyung?" Daehyun asked as he ran his fingers through his hair, water caught on his whisker dimples. Yongguk tilted his head to the side and gestured for the younger to continue speaking.

"There is too much to embrace in the world. Most of it is in the water. We can only experience so much on the land, within the cities and the forests. But the ocean envelops us all. It is our core and our environment." Daehyun said as he fell back into the waves his body floating soundly.

"I want to take in everything that the world has to offer me. Before I leave it." Yongguk stood up abruptly and Daehyun turned to him, a pretty smile on his lips as he twisted in the water.

"Would you like to come home with me hyung?" Daehyun sounded so far away, Yongguk didn't like it. With him on the land and Daehyun so far in the water he felt like the younger would drift away from him. 

Or was it already happening?

 

Yongguk paced around Daehyun's living room while the younger was in the shower. He couldn't keep still for some reason, so much was going on in his mind and the sheets scattered around were more than tempting.

He sighed and threw himself down onto the couch, gently lifting one of the notebooks from the ground. He opened it without thinking twice and was met with very small and neat hand writing.

" _If I don't belong here then where do I belong? Where is my home?_ " Yongguk whispered, his heart clenched and he flipped the page. Wrinkles in the page indicating that it had been touched by water.

" _I keep telling myself that someone needs me. But I can't quiet down the voice in my head that tells me no one wants me. Where do the unwanted go?_ " he placed that book down and picked up a sheet from the floor.

" _He felt as though not being himself was the greatest person he could possibly be. He didn't need anything. As long as he kept a smile on his face and his arms hidden, people would like him._

 _He'd make friends who'd never listen to him the way he listened to them. He'd smile the fakest smiles to the point his real smile would be lost. His time alone would be the most painful. But it was how he lived. And it wasn't changing any time soon._ "

" _I know I have to save myself but is it too much to ask for some help?_ "

 

"Yongguk hyung." a soft voice woke him and he blinked in confusion as Daehyun hovered above him, a tight smile on his lips as he gathered the sheets and notebooks that were strewn around the elder. He must've fallen asleep unconsciously.

Yongguk froze completely when he saw angry red lines all along Daehyun's forearms and he took in deep breaths. Daehyun followed his gaze and he looked at his fresh wounds with no expression.

"Daehyun..."

"Shh, don't say anything." Daehyun shook his head before he whistfully moved into Yongguk's lap, he buried his face into the crook of the elder's neck and sighed.

"But-"

"Just. Stay with me. Please."

 

Cool - Troye Sivan


	9. Heaven

Once again his life was deprived of Jung Daehyun. The younger hadn't shown his face in days and it was starting to worry him, but then again anything that involved Daehyun was worriesome to him.

Maybe he shouldn't have left Daehyun all alone. Maybe he should've stayed by his side for a little longer. 

"Yongguk hyung, what're you spacing out for?" Youngjae said with a pout on his lips, he was returning from the kitchen with a platter of small fruit tarts in his hands. He placed it on the table around their guests.

"How're you liking the island Yongguk? There's not much to do huh." Himchan looked to the other with a knowing smile and he thanked Youngjae before popping a tart into Jongup's mouth.

"There isn't much to do but I'm enjoying my time here." Yongguk answered honestly, he unconsciously brought his knees up to his chest, suddenly feeling a little lonely amongst all the others.

"Hey, why don't you guys do anything about Daehyun?" his question wasn't clear but they all knew what he was talking about. Himchan slumped slightly and Zelo fidgeted awkwardly, Youngjae simply looked at him.

"It's not our place to save him. Daehyun needs to save himself." Youngjae answered as their representative, he was Daehyun's best friend after all. Yongguk frowned and he tried to speak but Zelo cut him off.

"Until he calls out to us we can't do anything. If he chooses not to confide in us then it can't be helped." he said quietly and Yongguk kept his head down. Youngjae bit his lip and looked to the side his fists shaking.

It wasn't as though Yongguk was the only one who cared about Daehyun. 

Youngjae's phone began ringing and he glanced at the display number before he picked it up. He remained silent and waited for the person on the other line to speak first, but all he heard were sniffles and hiccups.

" _Y-youngjae, can you tell Yongguk hyung that I need him right now?_ " a weak voice whispered and Youngjae said no more, hanging up the phone before he looked to the elder on the couch.

"Daehyun is crying." he said simply and Yongguk stood up quickly. Making his way towards the door without a single word. No one moved to stop or question him either, they just let him go.

Yongguk wasn't sure if he was being overdramatic or not but he was practically sprinting his way to Daehyun's home. If the younger was crying on his own he was going to find him.

He ran through the town ignoring the strange looks from Zelo's parents and he looked around trying to find the way he had taken to Daehyun's that night. Yongguk slowed as he approached the hill since he didn't feel like falling.

During the day Daehyun's home really looked some kind of fairytale cottage. Yongguk let himself in, thankfully the door was opened, but at the same time the thought made him terrified.

He ran into the house and walked upstairs, seeing as how the bathroom light was on. When he reached the door the sight made his heart drop and his breath stop.

Daehyun was on the floor.

Blood and pills scattered all around him. 

His arms and legs were marred and dyed in red, deep cuts lining every part of his skin. 

Tears were streaming down his face and his lips were parted, his eyes lifeless as he looked at nothing.

The smell of vomit and blood surrounding him.

"Daehyun." Yongguk breathed as he ran towards Daehyun's side, not caring about the blood staining his clothing and skin. He brought the younger into his arms and his heart felt like it was being stabbed.

"I wanted to leave. But then I thought of Heaven and I got scared." Daehyun's voice was so small and weak, Yongguk could barely hear him. He gently held the younger not wanting to hurt him anymore.

"I don't want Heaven."

 

Heaven - Troye Sivan


	10. Youth

Yongguk didn't leave Daehyun's side one moment after he found him. He simply cleaned up the mess, cursing at the blood that had permanently lined the tiles. He then focused on Daehyun.

It wasn't hard to see how the younger looked away like he was filthy. Almost as though he regretted calling Yongguk there but he was thankful he wasn't alone. For some reason Yongguk was getting that from Daehyun's subtle gazes.

Daehyun didn't flinch when Yongguk clumsily cleaned his wounds with a very stocked first aid kit, he bandaged the open wounds and prayed that the scars wouldn't be too noticeable.

Yongguk gently dressed Daehyun in clean clothes and kissed his forehead, whispering that he'd help him bathe tomorrow. He then got into bed with the younger and held him close.

 

The next morning Yongguk made sure Daehyun didn't wake up alone. He didn't want the younger to wake up and do something rash because of his absence, and he definitely didn't want Daehyun to think that he left him.

So even though Yongguk woke up from his dreamless sleep at 6 in the morning, he remained in bed. Daehyun slept soundly, aside from the winces whenever he turned in his sleep.

It was about 10 when Daehyun finally woke up and he didn't say a single word, simply looking at Yongguk with those empty eyes. Yongguk smiled and kissed his forehead, bidding him a good morning.

After a moment of helping Daehyun bathe and cleaning his wounds once again Yongguk's heart was hurting more than ever. The wounds ran so deep that the dried blood appeared black, and the skin was clearly seperated, they were like openings in his skin rather than cuts.

Yongguk didn't hide his stare this time, he was thoroughly looking at Daehyun's wounds and he felt the younger's hands shaking. He looked up and Daehyun was looking at his wounds as well.

His breath heavy and short, eyes filling with tears as he looked at the gaping cuts. It was almost like he felt sorry for what he'd done to himself, but at the same time he didn't regret it. 

Because in that moment it was what he needed.

 

Daehyun was lying on the couch in fetal position and he hadn't moved for quite awhile. Yongguk could tell he was comfortable and he seemed content so he didn't say anything.

However, Daehyun hadn't eaten anything and Yongguk was no master chef. He couldn't risk running out to Youngjae because he didn't want to leave Daehyun alone and he didn't want the younger to get worried.

He sighed and picked up his phone, heading over to the couch before he sat down on the floor, leaning his back against it. The position hurt his butt but he didn't really care.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" Yongguk asked in a soft voice and he turned slightly to look at Daehyun. The younger seemed to think about it for a moment and he nodded his head.

Daehyun watched as Yongguk went to his soundcloud and he played a song called CURXE. There was a strong note on the piano and then claps of some sort, it was clear this song had no words.

He listened intently as a fragile voice began to sing, a haunting melody he felt. The voice disturbed his soul and it made him feel sad. The sound continued on until more was adding to the music.

And slowly, one by one the sounds began to strip away before it was nothing more than piano. The music lulled into silence and Daehyun looked at Yongguk expectantly. The elder then played the next song, one called Q.

This song was definitely simpler than the last, at least he had thought so, until the vocals began. The lyrics spoke of longing, questions that would never be answered but they were always asked.

It reminded him painfully of their situation right now. 

Yongguk didn't play any of his other personal works after that. And it left Daehyun curious. But it also opened his eyes to something he had known all along but he had been desperately wishing it wasn't true.

Yongguk was sad.

His music was the equivalent of Daehyun's writing. And it was the worst thing he could possibly imagine. Without another word Daehyun had tears streaming down his cheeks again and Yongguk glanced at him.

"Don't forget what you told me Daehyun. The way you live has a purpose, and if you're gone. Then there's nothing left." Yongguk whispered and Daehyun clenched his eyes shut.

"Hyung... can I have a hug please?"

"Of course Daehyunnie."

 

Youth - Troye Sivan

 


	11. Lost Boy

Yongguk was back at Youngjae's house the next day, upon being told by Daehyun that he wanted to be alone for awhile. He had been reluctant to leave him alone but Daehyun looked so... desperate he couldn't refuse.

"Yongguk hyung?" Jongup's voice broke him out of his thoughts and he noticed everyone looking at him. Youngjae had invited his friends over for a simple get together and with Yongguk staring at the ceiling the vibe was getting strange.

Yongguk looked towards Jongup with a hum, indicating that he was indeed listening. Youngjae however was looking at him with that same expression that he had been given on the day they had spoken about Daehyun.

"Is he okay?" Youngjae asked. Since the time Yongguk had arrived home Youngjae hadn't inquired a single thing about his best friends' well being, he had simply welcomed the elder home and asked if he was hungry.

"I won't say he's okay but he's managing." Yongguk replied, he didn't want to worry them but then again he didn't want to lie to them either. Himchan leaned back into the couch and sighed.

"Yongguk, you can't fix him. We've tried." Himchan said as he stared into Yongguk's eyes, ones that were swimming with so much confusion and anger. Yongguk gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.

"I'm not trying to fix him. I'm trying to keep him alive." 

 

That night Yongguk decided to take a walk, listening to the sounds of the island always calmed him, even though it gave him an eerie feeling that crept along his bones.

He breathed in the scents of the ocean and walked over to the beach, feeling that a nice walk in the sand would do him good. That was when he saw him, swaying lifelessly in the water.

Panicked, Yongguk sprinted across the white sand, not thinking twice as he plunged himself into the cold water. He breathed heavily as he felt something welling up in his throat.

"Daehyun!" he screamed, holding his head in complete fear. But to his relief, the younger stood on his feet and looked at him absent mindedly, holding out his hand.

Yongguk moved through the water to get to him and he grasped Daehyun's thin wrist, pulling him into his embrace. Daehyun didn't react as he was held by warm arms.

"Don't scare me like that. Don't you dare Daehyun." Yongguk whimpered, his body shaking as he held the lost boy against his body. Daehyun blinked and he glanced up at the sky.

"I was simply listening to the ocean hyung. Won't you listen with me?" 

 

Yongguk lay in the water with Daehyun laying on top of him, his hand secure around the younger's waist as the water swayed beneath them. Nothing more than the sound of water surrounded them and Yongguk took in a deep breath.

"The stars are so beautiful tonight, I couldn't stay inside." Daehyun said quietly and Yongguk could see the bandaged arm reaching up towards the litter of stars above them. 

Daehyun's body must be aching Yongguk thought, but he could see that pain no longer bothered the younger, and to him that was quite sad. Yongguk kissed the top of Daehyun's head and tightened his hold around his torso.

"You know Daehyun-ah, there is another reason why I came to this island." he began and Daehyun closed his eyes, opting to listen to nothing more than Yongguk and the world around them.

"I don't get along with my twin brother. Whilst he pursued business, I pursued music and art. My parents favour him more naturally but they envy my free spirit. My brother looks down on me, wondering when I'll get a real job as he calls it." Yongguk confessed.

It wasn't exactly what he'd call a major issue, however it was one that caused a rift within his family. His brother was straight, he was gay. His brother was a CEO, he was a composer. His brother was everything he wasn't.

Daehyun placed a comforting hand on the arm wrapped around him and he turned suddenly, causing them both to descend into the water. Yongguk's eyes widened as Daehyun pressed a kiss against his lips.

They both emerged and Yongguk coughed while wiping the water from his nose. Daehyun leaned into him and looked deep into his eyes, not an ounce of fear in those dark irises.

"You shouldn't feel forced to reconcile with your twin simply because he's your twin. If he is poison in your life, then cut him out. You are not obligated to get along with your family." 

Daehyun glanced up at the stars one last time before he wrapped his arms around Yongguk's neck, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as the elder sobbed softly.

 

Lost Boy - Troye Sivan


	12. For Him.

Youngjae sat on the couch while leaning his head on Daehyun's shoulder. His eyes were closed as he breathed steadily, enjoying the presence of his best friend by his side.

Yongguk had said he was going to be busy working on some stuff and so he was currently at Zelo's house since the youngest had the best internet connection on the island. 

It'd been a long time since the two were alone together, but there was nothing awkward between them. Youngjae noticed the excessive bandages covering his friend's skin but he didn't question.

He never did.

Daehyun tilted his head slightly resting his cheek against Youngjae's fluffy hair. This friendly comfort was something that no other could provide for him, Youngjae was his best friend and no one would surpass that.

"Daehyun," he lifted his head when Youngjae turned to look at him and he shifted ever so slightly so he was facing him. Daehyun nodded and waited for the other to speak.

"About Yongguk hyung... what is your true intention?" something flashed across Daehyun's eyes and he turned away. He looked past the living room towards the large window by the kitchen and sighed when he saw the ocean.

"Whatever he wants it to be." he answered and Youngjae furrowed his eyebrows. He couldn't understand what Daehyun was trying to say. Daehyun's fingers curled around Youngjae's wrist and he chewed the inside of his cheek.

"Everything is... for him."

 

Daehyun's skin glowed beneath the moonlight as he lifted himself and slammed himself back down on Yongguk's cock which was achingly deep inside of him. He sighed in comfort as he let his hands run along chiseled abs and he pushed his sweaty hair out of his face.

"Fuck Daehyun." Yongguk groaned as he threw his head back burying it deeper in the sand. Daehyun leaned downward, grinding the cockhead against his prostate. 

"Cum for me." Daehyun whispered against Yongguk's lips as he placed his hands on the elder's cheeks, forcing him to look deep into his eyes. Reflected in the elder's eyes Daehyun could see, lust, love and the stars.

The sounds of the island enveloped them and once again they felt like they weren't in this world. They were lost deep within a place that Yongguk didn't understand but Daehyun did.

"Daehyun-ah!" Yongguk moaned as he came inside the heated channel. Daehyun felt a warm shiver run up his spine and with a light whimper of Yongguk's name he was cumming over the elder's abs.

They breathed heavily trying to calm themselves down before Yongguk sat up and wrapped his arm around Daehyun's waist, pulling him closer as he brought their lips together.

Soft lips and gentle words were dancing as they moved sensually, Daehyun's body fitting against Yongguk's like they were made for eachother. Yongguk pulled away and kissed Daehyun's eyelids.

"I think I love you Daehyunnie." Yongguk confessed and Daehyun's eyes widened. Tears began filling his eyes and he shook his head, face scrunching up painfully as he wheezed and hiccuped.

"No no, you shouldn't love me." Daehyun sobbed as he rested his head on Yongguk's shoulder. Confused, the elder held him closely but Daehyun kept shaking his head, crying into the warm embrace.

"I'm no good for you."

 

For Him. - Troye Sivan


	13. Suburbia

It'd been days since anyone had seen Daehyun but by now Yongguk was used to that kind of behaviour from the younger. He'd be back in a few days or even in the next hour, he tends to appear and disappear like that.

Yongguk sat at the pier with his eyes glued to the glistening water. He watched the way the sun's reflection parted then came together in fluid movements and in those moments he was reminded of how small he was in this world.

He could feel someone standing beside him and judging by the silence, it wasn't Youngjae. The younger was currently feeling under the weather anyways, Yongguk had been caring for him all day.

"What're you thinking about?" that sweet voice wormed into his head and he took a deep breath. He felt afraid. He was afraid to look at Daehyun, because he had no clue what to expect, what wounds he'd see.

"Don't you ever miss home? Were you born on this island Daehyun?" Yongguk asked as he looked at the city longingly. It was small from how far they were but the tall buildings were still visible.

"... I don't have a home." Daehyun's answer sounded distant and when Yongguk turned around, he was gone.

 

"No one knows where Daehyun came from. He was found by a young couple who lived on the island. They found him in a basket." Youngjae said as he poured hot water into a mug.

"They raised him like their own. They moved to the island for a different environment after being torn over a miscarriage. They never told Daehyun where he came from, he assumed they were his parents." Yongguk's heart clenched.

"When we were 14 years old, they were killed in a shark attack." the room grew eerily silent and Yongguk couldn't bring himself to look at Youngjae. The younger settled a steaming mug in front of him.

"Daehyun found his basket when clearing out their belongings. And in it was a bundle of letters. Some were incomplete, it was his mother trying to tell him the truth. She wrote a letter every year on the day he was found, but she never had the heart to give it to him." Youngjae scoffed.

"That was when his trips began. The longest he's ever disappeared was a year. We were all convinced he was dead. Until he returned. And I'll never forget the broken look he gave me, do you know what he said to me?" Yongguk looked at Youngjae, 

_"Do I really exist Youngjae? Please tell me I do... because I really don't know anymore."_

 

Suburbia - Troye Sivan

 


	14. Too Good

Daehyun lay on his bed with his eyes glued to the ceiling, the blue lights in his room calming him. Yongguk was currently using his shower and it was about 2 in the morning.

Not an unusual time for them to be awake.

The more time he spent with Yongguk the more he wished for his departure. Yongguk was too good for him. In every sense of the word, he was too good of a person, too fragile of a soul, too sensitive to the world.

He wasn't ready to experience the world the way Daehyun did. And it only made him more certain that when Yongguk left the island, he didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

Ever.

 

When Yongguk returned to the room he knew something was wrong. The way Daehyun was looking at the ceiling, the way he was laying and even the way his breath sounded was wrong.

"The summer is ending." Daehyun whispered, and Yongguk remained still at the door. He couldn't bring himself to step any closer. But Daehyun's words reminded him of the cruel reality that was dawning upon them.

"How will I ever know whether or not you're okay?" he whispered back. And he didnt' fail to see the way Daehyun tensed, he sat up slowly almost as though he was being risen.

"You won't, and that's okay. But let me do one last thing." Daehyun stated as he made his way towards the elder. Yongguk could feel his blood boiling, he felt like there was so much more to do, and he hated how Daehyun was giving up on him like this.

The younger lead the elder towards the bed, letting him sit down before he sat in his lap. Yongguk felt upset, Daehyun made it seem like he wasn't anything important. 

Like their time together hadn't meant anything.

"What more do you want from me Daehyun." it sounded like a demand more so than a question. He hadn't expected to sound so hostile but he didn't know what was overcoming him. He didn't know anything when it came to Daehyun.

"I want to... colour you Blue."

 

Too Good - Troye Sivan


	15. Blue

_Blue?_

Yongguk was well aware of what colour Blue was. Blue was the colour of the ocean, it was the colour of the sky and it was the colour of the lights in this room. Blue was Daehyun.

Blue was the neighbourhood they lived in.

"Trust me one last time." Daehyun breathed onto Yongguk's lips, he seemed to be waiting for an answer. By the way his fingertips hesitated above Yongguk's skin, and the way his breath shook every time he exhaled.

"Why should I?" Yongguk narrowed his eyes, and Daehyun could sense that the elder was becoming defensive. This was not how he wanted to spend their last real night together.

"Because if you don't, I'll become nothing more than a memory. I want-" _to hurt you, to prove that I was indeed alive in your life_. Daehyun's eyes looked desperately into Yongguk's, his heart aching at how the elder avoided his gaze.

"You make it seem like you'll disappear. That we'll never meet again. What if I don't want that? What if I don't want this to end?" Yongguk rambled, his eyes darting side to side as his heart pounded in his chest.

"You can keep living in the memory of this island, or you can live right now with me." Daehyun said to him, hands touching his cheek to gently ease his attention back to the person sitting in his lap.

"But you're on this island." Yongguk reasoned but he couldn't bring himself to speak anymore. Was Daehyun really here? Daehyun looked at him with tightened lips, the blue lights creating shadows on his face.

"And this island resides in your heart. Where I will always be." Daehyun whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss against Yongguk's temple, the elder shivered and wrapped his arms around Daehyun.

"I want you... to colour me Blue."

 

Daehyun leaned over Yongguk seductively, his hair hanging in front of his face. Yongguk looked up at him and breathed quietly, it was so silent and all he could hear was his own heartbeat.

 _I'm going to miss you so much._ Daehyun didn't speak these words, because it would only make things harder for them. Yongguk looked the same way, so many unspoken words that he couldn't voice.

He carefully leaned downward and gently pecked Yongguk's bottom lip before he kissed him fully. Yongguk inhaled deeply as Daehyun's body melted into his own and he reached upward to tangle his fingers in fine locks.

Daehyun could feel the ache of his hair being pulled but he didn't care, he didn't want to focus on that. He wanted to focus on Yongguk and Yongguk only. This beautiful man who tried so hard to save him.

But failed.

Yongguk sat up and gently attached his lips to Daehyun's neck, the younger sighed as he felt those plump lips on him. He sucked light purple marks onto the sun kissed skin, his hands roaming the smooth expansion of Daehyun's back.

They had removed their clothing long ago, and there was nothing between them. Nothing but the feelings that they couldn't convey. Yongguk kissed Daehyun's chest, feeling the soft thudding of his heartbeat on his lips.

"You're alive, and you're here with me." Yongguk whispered aloud, Daehyun knew it was for him to hear but for some reason it seemed like Yongguk wasn't speaking to him.

Suddenly when Daehyun wrapped his arms around Yongguk time seemed to have stopped. Yongguk's arms secured themselves around Daehyun's waist and for a moment it was just the two of them.

Their heated skin shared much needed warmth and their breaths reassured one another. No words were exchanged between them, because sometimes words weren't enough.

Daehyun pulled away ever so slightly to look into Yongguk's eyes, those honest eyes that only made Daehyun feel dirty when they looked at him. Even when they were dripping with nothing more than admiration and awe.

Yongguk brought their lips together and he massaged Daehyun's tongue with his own, the taste of honey and tea filling his mouth. Daehyun kissed back desperately, his nails digging deep into Yongguk's shoulders.

They didn't part until minutes later, when they needed air in their lungs. Daehyun could feel tears brimming in his eyes when he felt Yongguk tense beneath him and he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Daehyun then lifted himself and pumped Yongguk's cock, the sudden action making the elder sputter nonsense for a second. And then it all happened so fast, Daehyun was sinking down hard and fast his hole ripping at the girth.

"D-daehyun?" Yongguk stuttered, the heat sheating him was the same heat he had always felt but it felt different today. His hands held onto Daehyun's hips, rubbing soothing circles on the younger's skin.

"It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt." he reassured the elder, but at the same time he was chanting the words to himself. His heart didn't hurt. His heart didn't hurt. It didn't hurt when he looked into Yongguk's eyes. It didn't.

Daehyun leaned his head back as he moved his hips slightly, bending Yongguk's member inside of him. He bit his lip and concetrated on the heat in his belly, the feeling of Yongguk inside of him.

"Please don't leave me." Yongguk's eyes snapped wide open and he looked up at Daehyun. The younger's face was scrunched up painfully, the veins in his neck straining as he cried.

"Please please." Daehyun sobbed as he wrapped his arms tight around Yongguk's shoulders, holding him close. His whole body was shaking and Yongguk didn't know what to do.

"Yongguk please." Daehyun pleaded and he lifted himself up and slammed back down. Yongguk moaned and he pushed Daehyun back into the bed, he animalistically captured his lips and snapped his hips back and forth.

"I'm with you, I always will be." he repeated Daehyun's words in his own way and the younger realized this, more tears streaming down his face. Yongguk bit his swollen lips till they bled.

Yongguk knew that he would never see this beautiful person again. And Daehyun knew that his heart would belong to no one but Yongguk.

"I love you." Daehyun confessed, his legs wrapping around Yongguk's waist to connect them deeper. Yongguk pressed a kiss against his forehead, his lips quivering,

"I know."

 

Blue - Troye Sivan


	16. Swimming Pools [Epilogue]

Youngjae pursed his lips as he wrapped his arms around his cousin, giving a warm hug before he pulled away. Yongguk's eyes were filled with despair but he forced himself to smile.

"I'll see you soon, hyung." Youngjae said quietly, even though both of them knew it wasn't true. Yongguk simply nodded and he turned to Daehyun who was looking out at the ocean.

He carefully approached the younger and pulled him close, his brows furrowed as he placed one last kiss on his forehead. Daehyun tried to keep his breath steady and when Yongguk pulled away it took all of his power not to stop him.

"Goodbye." Yongguk whispered before he turned away, getting onto the boat with ease. He didn't look back as he slowly parted from the land, he wasn't strong enough to look at Daehyun again.

"You're an idiot." Youngjae said as soon as the boat was out of sight. Daehyun slumped down to the ground and he sighed, closing his eyes to feel the wind, but today it seemed hostile.

"We have too much darkness. We'd only destroy each other." he said. Youngjae didn't say anymore, he simply sat down on the dock beside Daehyun, their legs dangling off of the edge.

"Youngjae?" he looked over to Daehyun seeing how the other was staring at the city. His eyes were shaking and his hands were clenched tightly, Youngjae gently leaned his head onto Daehyun's shoulder.

"Help me get past this wave would you?" 

"Of course Daehyunnie."

 

He wasn't sure what he was expecting to find that Summer but he knew one thing for sure. There was a part of his heart, a part hidden deep within him, where Daehyun resided and it was Blue.

Everything was Blue.

 

Swimming Pools - Troye Sivan


End file.
